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It’s a scene we’ve all witnessed—or even lived. Life throws punches: financial strain, relationship turmoil, overwhelming mental health battles. And in the midst of that chaos, we find ourselves reaching for things we know aren’t good for us. The cigarette that calms the nerves. The soda that momentarily feels like joy in a can. The bag of chips that disappears in front of the TV, one salty handful at a time.
It’s a cycle so common it’s almost cliché. But why do we do this? Why, when life is hardest, do we turn on ourselves?
As a health coach, I’ve spent years observing and reflecting on this pattern, and I want to share some insights that may help break the cycle. Not just for your health, but for your soul, your mind, and your future.
When life feels out of control, the brain craves something—anything—that feels comforting or familiar. The stress hormone cortisol dampens our ability to think clearly and amplifies cravings for quick “hits” of pleasure: sugar, fat, nicotine, alcohol. It’s a survival instinct, but one that’s woefully out of place in a world where instant gratification is just a pantry away.
When we’re struggling in relationships or with money, feelings of failure or inadequacy often creep in. On a deeper level, these feelings can whisper lies: You’re not worth taking care of. Without realizing it, neglecting health becomes a subconscious way of punishing ourselves.
From a spiritual perspective, self-abuse reflects a deeper disconnection from purpose and peace. When we are distant from what gives life meaning, we can numb that emptiness with fleeting pleasures that only leave us emptier.
Whether you identify spiritually or not, this disconnection is real—and it feeds the cycle.
Breaking free isn’t easy. But it is possible. Here are some steps to help you regain control, reconnect with yourself, and make choices that honor your health, even when life feels heavy.
The first step is recognizing the pattern. The next time you’re about to light a cigarette, pop open a soda, or reach for junk food, pause. Ask yourself:
The simple act of identifying your emotions can break the autopilot and give you a moment to choose differently.
In moments of crisis, you need better options on standby. Here’s a framework:
When life feels meaningless, it’s easy to abuse yourself. Reconnecting to a sense of purpose—whether that’s through faith, community, or meaningful work—shifts your mindset. Think about the people who need you healthy. Consider the goals you still want to accomplish. When you focus on what matters, self-care feels less like a chore and more like an act of love.
Your surroundings either fuel your habits or fight them.
Self-destruction thrives in isolation. Find a support system—whether it’s a coach, a counselor, or a trusted friend. There’s no shame in needing help to make lasting changes.
As an Orthodox Christian, I believe the body is a great gift, to be treated with respect and care.
But you don’t have to be religious to see the truth in this: Your body is not your enemy. It is the vehicle that carries you through life, the partner in every triumph and struggle.
When you treat your body with care, even in life’s hardest seasons, you send a powerful message to yourself: I am worth it.
And you are.
I want you to know you’re not alone. I’ve been there, I’ve seen it, and I’m passionate about helping people rise above the struggle—not just for the sake of their health, but for their life. If you’re ready to take that step, let’s talk.
Because you deserve more than survival. You deserve to thrive.